Festival of Praise - PRAISE GOD!

What a fulfilling night. Festival of Praise 2010 was great with Planet Shakers and Don Moen. The best part was the sermon by Pastor Che Ahn. It was really heartfelt and I could feel all my emotions bursting out. What a great day planned by God indeed. I wanted to burst out crying, with all the guilt for sins committed, contained inside. It was difficult suppressing them, but I asked God to help me and He did. I couldn't really sing after the sermon at all because I was afraid that my tears would start falling after that. I think it was the best sermon I have ever ever heard of.

And that led me to reflect on what I had done, especially to her. Will she forgive me? I will forgive her. But that doesn't mean that we have to be together. I just want to say that I have loved her so much, but am sorry that I gave up at the last hurdle. Love never quits, I forgot. Love does not consider self before others. I was selfish, and all I hope is that she can forgive me. I had caused the walls we built up to crumble, by myself.

Now, I will focus on my love to Jesus and God.

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

We will have to eradicate the wrongs, so that what is left on earth is of heaven. That is what God has wanted us to do after all. It's a new addition to my standing values and principles. I will need to look and reflect on myself again.

I hope I can start a renewed and refreshed life from now on.

a broken life, but fixed up to a different shape

Finally after 2 months, I am here blogging again. It's lull so I have all the time in the world to blog and do anything with my computer. Actually I have been sitting in front of my desktop, doing useless stuff like watching videos on Youtube and exploring Facebook. Seriously, the Internet has become a deep abyss that really absorbs humans into it. Anyone who can climb out of that is considered non-human, I think..

Well, there have been many ups and downs since 2 months ago. The most oblivious one would be of course, my separation from someone who has been part of my life for 3 years and 2 months. 'Why? What happen?" people will ask me. Thinking back, I am really not sure how to put them in words. A lot of them are in the emotional language, and it is hard to express them in clear words that can describe the whole situation. What I can say is that I am the one who initiated it, and I could not take it anymore. But still, I guess I would be the one who feel more guilty and more regretful of what I had done. It could have been avoided, tolerated, but I still put an end to it. Whether it was a leap of faith or an act of stupidity, only time can tell.

And so that is why I am burying myself in work and meetings with friends. Well, that seems to work, until the recent lull period which I am currently enjoying now. I realised that it is so difficult to try to remove memories of someone you know so well. No matter where I go, or what I do, I am always reminded of her presence, her companionship and her touch. Not trying to be emo here, but that is what I feel. And she keeps appearing in my dreams. Now she is part of my subconsious huh -.-

Well, I shall stop talking about what has happened between me and her. I got to stop thinking and look forward. Time will help me pull through this, no matter what happens then.

Inception was darn good with Jonathan Heng, Dennis and Cher Han. It really is mind-boggling. The way they craft the whole movie was excellent too. Whoever understands and grasps the content of the movie will definitely be left with many questions when they exit the theater. The top was wobbling at the end right?

The idea of inception is complicated yet familiar since all of us have dreams. We cannot control what we want to dream and logic hoes haywire in them. Sometimes you feel blissful in them, or they can be nightmares for you. But it occurred to me that I have controlled my dreams before. For example, when I was in Primary School, I could sense whether I was in a dream or not. I called it my own willpower of some sort, such that I can really feel if I was in a dream or not. And when I know that I am in a dream, I can stop dreaming and wake up almost immediately. Quite cool huh, maybe this is some kind of special power. And another example is that I can have a continuation of the previous dream I had after waking up by going to sleep again. I tried, and it only worked a few times. But this shows that a certain part of my subconsciousness can be controlled, aye?

SUTD is asking Edward and I to help in this recent advertising/marketing campaign for them. Looks fun and we decided to go. We went down last Thursday for a briefing and to show them the clothes that we will be wearing. It was quite funny because we realised that we had nicknames and they called us himbos -.- Were we really that bimbotic? But they were a good bunch of people, and we talked and laughed at each other. Looking forward to Saturday's Photo and Video Shoot. Still not sure on what to talk about, but just going to try impromptu then. It's more candid and to a certain extend, heartfelt?

Damn, lull is going to be over! Today is the last day of the lull block leave. Man, I want more off days! But Thursday and Friday are going to be slack days, and I'm going to Genting from Sunday to Tuesday! Going to take this break and it's back to work again. Going to wait for the next batch of cadets to come in, but that will be in October already. And from there, it's ORD mode! Yay~

At least I did something useful during the break - sorting out my feelings, working out and going out with friends. Guess this break was kind of efficient for me, haha. I am going to work out more, since I'm so skinny and weak-looking. Going to hit the gyms during work :D

Alright then, I think i should stop. There is just too much to talk about after not blogging for 2 months! Let's hope that life is smooth going for now.