Updates till 2013

17 Feb 2013

As I sit down at my table, trying my best to do my Systems World Homework, I can’t help but to feel the fragility of life. I was sitting with my parents at the dining table and I could only notice the way my mum was eating her food. Her strength had diminished and she had to eat porridge with a little bit of vegetables and fish. I knew she couldn’t reach out to the food properly and my father helped take a bit of fish into her bowl. That scene just made me feel helpless with the situation that my mother is in.

She has been down with cancer since 2010 I think. Breast cancer to be exact. It has been a difficult journey for the family. I admit that I was complacent in the beginning and did not know the true pain that cancer can deal to the victim. It was really painful when I saw how my mum writhed in pain as she tried to breathe in the hospital in Oct 2012. She was complaining of breathlessness and my father brought her to Mt E Hospital to get her the best medical treatment. I was in school then, and I rushed over upon hearing the urgent news from my father and brothers. On the bus ride there, I was already hoping and praying that my mum will be alright and tshe would be greeting me with her usual smile. Yet, the moment I reached, I could see a big difference between reality and my expectations. She was panting and we could see that she was trying her best to tell us something. She was trying to saying “Don’t worry, don’t worry”. That could only make me break down in tears because i knew my mother was fighting really really hard and she till that moment, she did not want to let us down. She was fighting for God, for her family, for her own life. All of us were afraid that that would be the last time we saw her, the last time we could touch her warm face and hands. Eventually, she had to be moved to the ICU because her condition was becoming increasingly complex and dangerous.

In the following hours, we were pacing up and down the corridors outside the ICU, waiting anxiously for the news that the doctors will bring. To be honest, we were expecting the worst. Seeing my mother writhing in pain was too much to bear and I was not sure of what to expect will happen. When the doctor finally came out, we realised that the pericardial regions around her heart were filled with fluids, up to a point that her heart actually stopped for 5 minutes. The 3 specialist doctors immediately took action and quickly inserted a hole into the pericardium to allow the fluids to be taken out asap. I really want to thank that doctor for being able to adapt so quickly to the situtations. One mistake could lead to death and I would not be able to see my mother again...

In the following days, my mother’s condition gradually recuperated after a series of operations to help drain the fluids in her lungs and heart. It was painful to see so many tubes sticking and poking into my mother’s flesh. You see this in many drama scenes on TV, but this time it was real. Sitting in the ICU room with my mother, time seems to stop and I keep praying that she would be able to wake up. We kept talking to her, trying to encourage her and if possible, quicken her recovery process. As I tried to speak to her, tears will stream down my face as I try to remember the times I had with my mother. Simple memories of how she taught me to ride the bicycle, of how she nags at me to take my medication and so on. I realised how great a mother she has been to me in my whole life.

She has been recuperating ever since she got discharged from a 2-week stay in the hospital. She has this tube at her right lungs to drain the fluids that get accumulated in her right lung. She is still fighting hard and I really hope God create a miracle in her. He has saved her in Oct 2012, and I really hope that He can do the same for her whole body. If she recovers, I will be able to bring her around to fly and see interesting things in the world. I pray everyday that she will be able to recover completely from cancer and give God this testimony and be able to tell everyone about the message of Christ and God. I thank God too, for giving my family a chance to be with my mother.

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I feel that I have not taken my life seriously. Everyday, I believe that I am slacking too much and have too little motivation to do what I am interested in. I am only to blame and I should pursue something that is meaningful and interesting to do.

There are a few projects that I am in now:
1) colab
2) idea bakery
3) raspberry pi instagram viewer
4) learn nodejs
5) sutd bojio
6) (more?)

I would like to commit myself and really create something awesome with all this. woohoo

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Kai Xin has succeeded her first JAL interview and is unsure of what she wants now. SIA or JAL? SIA is coming up with another interview in March and she is worried that the pay in JAL is not as high as SIA. I agree that she should go to the one with higher pay, but she failed once already and the flights in JAL are less (means she got more time with me :p ).

Though I kind of don’t want her to be an air stewardess because of all the scandalous rumours that go around being one, I should not restrict her dreams as well. Travelling around the world definitely will help widen her world and perspectives but I will miss her...

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18 Feb 2013

It’s the start of a new day and I made a promise to myself to take life more seriously. The reason why I am writing this journal is for me to reflect upon the day’s progress, and hopefully when I look back at it, I will remember what had happened and the progressions of my thoughts. Like what I have said yesterday, there are a few projects that i should be working on, and I will do them with commitment. Colab and Idea Bakery for today! :D


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18 Feb 2013

Really really happy that Liverpool thrashed Swansea 5-0. Both have tiki-taka as their ethos and I was wondering how the results will be like. Sat through the night in my hostel and watched the match till 1am. The lag was killing me, the hostel wifi really needs to get fixed. Oh well, I ordered a powerful wifi adapter with antenna from deal extreme and hope that it will come soon. Liverpool really made my day and I just can’t stop watching the highlights. It’s just so damn good to watch their passing penetrating the defences of Swansea like hot knife melting butter. Coutinho and Sturridge performed very well and they are really one of the best buys Liverpool have made in these few years. Instant impact upon arrival.

I got into a tiff today with Kai Xin because she was unsure of what to choose between SIA and JAL. JAL have less flights and thus their stewardesses command a lower pay compared to their equals in SIA. But that means she will have more time to stay in Singapore and to meet me. She loves Japan and their language too, and I’m thinking why not? But of course, she needs to earn as much as possible to pay off her debts. I helped settle half of her debts last month so that I can ease her worries a little, but I remember that I was really doubtful of whether I should lend her the money or not. Because I remember someone saying that you should not put too much money into the relationship. Frankly, I did not know whether our relationship could last then. We got into a huge quarrel one day and we almost broke up. It was painful, but I felt myself not putting in enough effort in the relationship, and it was not fair to her. I had far too many commitments and I was not giving her my attention. Well, at least for now, she is fine and I think I am doing well in keeping her in check haha.

Soccer training today was awesome. We played in the rain a game of 7 v 7. I was playing more of a last man with Glen and Clement who occasionally went up to support the attack. I don’t know why I like to play at the back. Maybe I liked to control the play and pass in between the opponents. Eventually, I moved up to support the attack as well haha. Had a few long shots and a volley, thought I could score, and I almost hit one in. Feeling very very tired now while writing this journal. Hopefully, I can keep this up and write as many entries as I can.

Oh and I also managed to have a breakthrough in coding Colab. I have managed to make the notifications succeed and now there are some more things that I have to take care of. It seems that the problems lies in that I had to “rake db:seed” in order for rails to push the configurations into the database. And of course, the controller had difficulty in updating multiple attributes and I had to find a hacky way to go around the problem by using a mixture of overriding the Sessions Controller as well as using Thomas’s filters to update the attributes properly. And of course I also learnt about the difference between update_attribute and update_attributes! update_attribute allows the changing of the model’s attributes without validations. I guess it is not really right to use this, but I tried all sorts of ways and this was the only way I have found to work till now.

Ok, time to read up for tomorrow’s Systems Quiz. I need to sleep early too! :D

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19 Feb 2013

It’s 2am in the morning, and I just completed...

20 Feb 2013
Left the previous diary entry as such because Fendy and I were together in the room, and i was still a wee bit uncomfortable with letting someone to know what I have written here. The reason I wrote this in Google Docs is so that I won’t have to post it on a public blog... That being said, I could actually make my blog private and all, but oh well. I am quite satisfied with the current method, so its all ok.

I slept really really late last night and I am feeling like a zombie right now. I think I didn’t do well for Math Quiz yesterday because I did not really study and practised enough. I was already half a zombie on Tuesday and I think I’m mutating to a full-fledged one today. Yet another examinations awaits me tomorrow afternoon: Biology. Though I have studied it before, I don’t think I would want to be complacent like last semester for Physics. I really learnt a lesson then because I scored really really bad for the first examination. Luckily, tomorrow’s exam is going to have 80% MCQ Questions = 40 MCQ Questions. I hope that they are going to be straight forward with their questions haha.

Fendy has been sick for the last few days as well. Luckily I managed to not fall sick (albeit to a little bit of headache) till now. Let’s hope that I don’t fall sick after writing this sentence -..- And his grandmother fell down and is hospitalised currently in Gleneagles. I hope that she is alright. It’s a bit weird because I was just talking to Fendy last night about how I realised that my mum is so important in life and that we should cherish the people around us. And for that, we ought to take responsilibity for ourselves so as not to trouble and worry them. And then the next day, this happens. He also told me that she is a devout Christian (inferred because she only reads the bible or just watch TV everyday). Maybe this is something of a God’s sign for Fendy. I really hope that nothing too grave happens, but it may be a part of God’s plan...

Kai Xin has been treating me very well, and I really am thankful that I have such a caring and gracious girlfriend. She didn’t used to be like that - she was more temperamental and narrow-minded. Now, it seemed like we switched roles haha. She has really grown and I’m really lucky to have her as my girlfriend for like 6 plus years now. I have been telling myself to put more effort and be more responsible in this relationship. But it seems like time is not enough for me - lots of things to catch up on. But all these are still excuses. When there is a will, there is a way, always.

Tong Yee, the director of School of Thoughts came down today as well. He spoke to us about the innovative business models and insights into his creative social enterprises. I felt that it was amazing that he could sustain his set of beliefs and value while trying to create a sustainable and yet pragmatic approach for social startups to begin. Of course, he credited his successes to a bit of luck as well. Still, the main thing that I observed was his charisma and his integrity to remain true to his cause of being ethical. Well, this is expected from a social entrepreneur, but this was the first time I saw a really cool social entrepreneur in person. I had ideas of opening a tuition agency of sorts, but looking at this example, I now truly believe that a company has to have an ethos that the employees and boss must all follow and believe. With that, the goals and direction of the whole entity can become as one, and ensure a somewhat commonly driven effort.

I have been having my own struggles as well - whether to do things out of my own interest or to diversify and try many other things. Of course I would like to try as many new things as possible, it’s just that suddenly you find yourselves wanting to pursue something (which for me is programming now) out of no reason. And that is when you realise that you actually like to do the thing. You just don’t know why, and you enjoy doing it. It’s kind of tiring though, and I still don’t know how my future will look like. I don’t know which pillar to take as well.

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Ok, its 1.30am... Just realised I didnt finish the last entry, but got to sleep now. So yea...


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26 Feb 2013

Ok, this is really bad. I just skipped 6 days of writing. Which is really bad. What my mum usually says is right: You must not forget to do something you want to do everyday. Once you start to stop, you will remain stopping.

So the last few days have been really taxing on me. Though it was the weekend, I pushed myself (while enjoying a bit) to do Colab. And thank God that I made a breakthrough with the Private Pub push/sub service. I have managed to eliminate the problems of multiple entries and the javascripts functions stacking on one another. Just an hour ago, Edward let Li Juan try the apk but to our dismay, there was a problem with the registrations... And I just solved it. It happened to be a unerased registrations controller lurking in the app. Once I deleted it, everything was okay again. Phew.

Kai Xin got her job as an air stewardess too. What is left is for her to pass her medical review. These few days, it feels that I have been neglecting her a bit... It’s because my mind is too focussed on the projects and development. I guessed when I wished to take a more serious perspective of my life, this is what I get - putting the attention on the wrong things. I have to cherish the time and communication opportunities we have left in these few months. If she does get the job (most probably), she will fly off on the 6th of May, a few days after my exams and a few days before my birthday. I think I will really miss her, and I don’t know why I’m still so dumb not doing anything about it.

I really feel glad for her new appointment. She finally earned something she deserved, it seemed like it was all part of God’s plan for her to learn Japanese and then have her enter JAL. And the events that led up to it as well - finding a job in Volkswagen, a 3 month contract in Symrise and then a failed interview in SIA. I strongly believe that JAL will treat Kai Xin better because firstly they are Japanese. You can’t forget about their courtesy and strong belief in principles. Kai Xin will fit right into their system, because I know that she has much integrity and strong principles she back upon. Secondly, there are only female stewardesses serving in the sky - which makes me less worried about males trying to get too close to her. And of course thirdly, Kai Xin just loves Japan, their language and culture. It’s like a perfect match, made by God. I just hope that she will be able to enjoy this line of work and that I will still have ample time with her.

Oh, there’s really a lot of progress on Idea Bakery. Rui Hong and I made the “Before I die” blackboard, and it was really a success. We placed it near the East Terrace and we were afraid that it would actually get into contact with rain when it comes. But it was all good! It rained but it was completely sheltered from it. I really do hope that more people will write more of their dreams and thoughts on the board, and eventually filling all the empty spaces up. Many including the security guard uncle also went to write on it!

Alright, time to sign off. And get some good sleep. I really need to get a proper sleeping cycle regularly. Ciaooo~

Learn to Embrace

Damn, everything just isn't going according to plan. I'm kind of unhappy with it definitely. But things just happen, thing that are not within control. So are we going to let it stay that way? Why not accept the things that happen to us, and embrace the opportunities present?

I find myself at fault too. But when everything goes wrong, we can't blame anyone but ourselves. If not, then who? Luck?

There are things that I try very hard for, because I want to cherish them. Sometimes I hold back, but the questions keep tugging and bombarding back at me. The more we do, the more failures we have. I'm not going to give up on anything.

I'm just going to stand by my own principles and do what I can. Embrace and maybe we can find more purpose in life.

'50 Things' from Ben Jones, MIT Admissions Blog

Just something I came across in my friend's facebook wall post. 50 Things that we should take note of when we enter MIT. I'm not entering MIT, but I think all these we can apply in our life no matter in school or outside school. Just to share (:

"50 Things"

Dear Class of 2010,
This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I'll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won't be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi).
As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I'd leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful.
Here goes...

1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
3. In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.
4. Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.
5. Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.
6. If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.
7. At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.
8. Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.
9. Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)
10. Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.
11. Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.
12. When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.
13. In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.
14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.
15. All-nighters are entirely overrated.
16. For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.
17. Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.
18. Take risks.
19. Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.
20. Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)
21. Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.
22. Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.
23. It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.
24. When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."
25. Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.
26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.
27. Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.
28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.
29. No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.
30. If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.
31. Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.
32. Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.
33. Your health and safety are more important than anything.
34. Ask for help. Often.
35. Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.
36. In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.
37. In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.
38. On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.
39. Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.
40. Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.
41. Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.
42. Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.
43. If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.
44. Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.
45. Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.
46. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.
47. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.
48. Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.
49. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.
50. This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love.
Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.
-B

Can't wait to go back to school, and to ORD of course :D

8 Nov, HERE I COME~

Blink!

Finally, I have gotten hold of one of Malcolm Gladwell's book. And it's one of the titles that caught my eye when it was first in stock in the bookstore.

Having a great time reading and savouring it. His points about thin slicing, the first impressions we have are quite intriguing. I think all of us definitely have experiences that are similar to those written in the book. Haven't completed the book yet, but I think this book will get me reading over and over again..

The Script - For The First Time

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking Jack all alone in my local bar.
And we don't know how
How we got into this mad situation,
Only doing things out of frustration,

Tryna make it work,
But man these times are hard.

She needs me now but I cant seem to find the time.
I got a new job now on the unemployment line.
And we don't know how
How we got into this mess. Is it God's test?
Someone help us 'cause where doing our best.

Tryna make it work,
But man these times are hard.

But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we havent for a while,
A while, yeah.

We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years.
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time.

Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo
Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo
Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooooo (Ooo ooo)

She's in line at the door with her head held high,
Well I just lost my job, but didn't lose my pride,
And we both know how
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,
When you pick yourself up you get kicked to the dirt.

Tryna make it work,
But man these times are hard.

But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Doing things we haven't for a while,
A while, yeah.

We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years.
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time.

Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo
Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo
Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooooo (Ooo ooo)

Yeah, drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while.

We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years.
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time.

Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo
(Yeah, for the first time)
Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo
(Oh, for the first time)
Ooo ooo ooo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo
(Yeah, For the first time)
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time.

Oh these times are hard.
Yeah they're making us crazy.
Don't give up on me baby.

Oh these times are hard.
Yeah they're making us crazy.
Don't give up on me baby.

Oh these times are hard.
Yeah they're making us crazy.
Don't give up on me baby.

Oh these times are hard.
Yeah they're making us crazy.
Don't give up on me baby.

Knowledge is Power

After today's SUTD's 'Masters of Technology and Design' lecture, I realised that I really really missed school! I want to go back to studying so much. I just got to wait 2 more months till I ORD. Yes, just 2 more months to freedom!

Today's lecture was enriching because it somewhat introduced me to what architecture can be. And indeed, it showed me the beautiful aspects of buildings. The speaker was Professor Fumihiko Maki, a renowned architect who won the prestigious Pritzker Prize. Although he is at old age of 82, I was impressed by hisinsight during the lecture in which he introduced his thoughts and ideas while designing the various academic institutions.

Few points that I could take away:
- 'A city is a big house, and house is a small city"

The intricate designs in a house and a city are somewhat similar in that city. I think whatever is needed in the house applies the same to a city, just that the city is more expansive in size and holds a larger population.

- Between 0 to 16metres of a building will determine the character of the building because most interaction between human beings occur in that range

 The usage of space is evident in Prof Maki's work. The way he used the horizontal, vertical and diagonal lines to contrast and allow people/residents to desire to work in the space available to them was very impressive. One example is Singapore's own Republic Polytechnic. Students make use of the space to occupy themselves with activities. These activities are what determine the character of a buidling or how successful architecture has excited education in the institute.

I really admire Professor Maki for being so strong in his heart for architecture. Even though he is 82 this year, he still contributes so much to the architectural world. Even now, he is involved in the rebuilding of Ground Zero - World Trade Center Tower 4. People like him can really devote themselves to their work and interest. I hope I can be like this, contributing to the world, leaving behind my footprints in others' memories. Likewise, I am going to remember the lecture that I had today.

I am really excited about the SUTD education. I can't wait to start, actually. After hearing what Prof Tom and Mr Ng have explained about how SUTD's education is going to produce the next future generation of students that will be different from the rest, I can't help but feel upbeat about what I will go through in SUTD. It is the only university that has really captured my attention, and the only one that really makes me want to enroll in it.

I just can't wait to go back to school again, to the environment where learning and interaction is so fun. I guess NS will help me cherish university education and impel me to do my best.

Complicated

Why is life so complicated? Before when we were younger, like during primary school days, our lives were so much simpler. There was nothing much to worry about and for what we did, the adults didn't really care.

But now, we complicate ourselves with matters that can seem simple on the outside but messy in the inside. Why do we have to complicate things when it can be so much simpler? Do we have to think so much about it? Are we all influenced to ask ourselves so many questions, which consequently cause ourselves to be paranoid and afraid to put one step forward.

Action still speaks louder than words. There are a few who can act rationally without thinking too much. These are the people who can think on the ground, cut the crap off the whole load of content, and just go straight to the point. And it is also the fact that they are able to do this, that they have this natural aura of leadership.

There is just too much baggage that we have to carry around in our lives. All our personal experiences whether happy or sad, can help us in growing up but we have to move on. By moving on, we should leave these history behind, but not totally. It has to be enough to start afresh and to tell yourself that it will not affect your future decisions.

I was told that there only exists a thin line for something. I am someone who seeks answers fervently, bashing through anything that comes into my way till I reach my destination. Having a thin line may mean that others can easily transcend into the boundaries. Thin or not, the line has to be absolute. Both parties will need to understand the absolute statuses and rights conferred on the side beyond the line. A thin line doesn't give answers. It merely gives space for doubts and misunderstandings to grow.

Was it something I said, or just my personality?